The Scent of Grief

Liquid gold, drinking in the aroma of Gain laundry detergent, regular scent
Inhaling deeply the month of June, sterile hospitals, funeral homes, and her, still covered with the fluid of my womb

Whispers of family and friends on soft summer breezes, gathered fully together for the first time in years, to mourn our lost love
Eyes averted, conversation avoided, but inhabiting one space
Tears and laughter juxtaposed
Could it be? Heart healing in our greatest pain?
Cleansing communication, only love remains
Empty bassinet, unfinished nursery
Tears washing grief from our eyes
Hearts united in the sacred dance of grief and joy
Her scent now faded from her soft white blanket
But not from the laundry that hangs on the line  


Birthday week is winding down. The girl and I are both another year older. Monday we went fishing for my birthday with my new pole the kids gave me. I caught two little perch. We always catch and release. 

The sky was gorgeous after a storm. 

Wednesday we celebrated our daughter. She has requested bacon and corn on the cob for her birthday ever since she turned 2. We obliged, adding several summer salads. Our friends brought purple mashed potatoes to add to the menu. What fun! 

I wish I could say her cake was a success, but it flopped as big as any flop I’ve ever made. She wanted a strawberry cake. I got out my ever-trustworthy  Mennonite cookbook, followed the recipe to a T, and it was perfectly awful! Flat. Dense. Not in “dense rich deliciousness.” More like rubber. Bleh. 

Her brother wrote her name with Legos and even made a dancing mini figure for the top. (She takes ballet and tap.) The only negotiation was that it had to have a motorcycle jacket and helmet on the dancer. 

The baby has been up the past two nights with a cold. Last night she slept and I didn’t. I got up around 4:30 this morning and started the tomatoes for pizza sauce and ketchup. I ended up with 21 pints of sauce and 13 pints of the best ketchup I’ve ever made. I also caught up on some emails for our non-profit organization. 

I made a double batch of our favorite chocolate chip cookies (totally plant based and outrageously awesome) and a loaf of banana bread. 

My bestie came over to hang out for awhile and I hosted her and four pastors for lunch, including our District Executive Minister and my favorite Hatian visitor. I served them roasted red pepper and spinach Stromboli with leftover summer salads, fresh melon, and the cookies and banana bread I made early this morning. 

According to my Fitbit it has already been a big day. Now I am getting the family ready for an evening at the county fair. It is back-to-school night, but the husband and the children won me over. We will likely indulge in ribbon fries and funnel cakes and who knows what other fried greatness you can only find at a county fair. We are celebrating the end of summer break with a myriad of food, fun, and fellowship.  

While I will be much more productive at our non-profit once school is back up and running, I will miss these precious tag-alongs that are my world. 

Corn working day

Two of my sisters and I worked sweet corn today for the freezer. I left over lunch to honor a commitment to my mother-in-law and then had to skip out before we were done because it got too hot and sleepy for the baby. All told, we put 50 quarts of corn in the freezer today. That doesn’t count the crazy amounts we fed on as we worked. #summer #gratefulfortheharvest #willenjoycornthiswinter 

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