Happy Adoption Day

It is with unspeakable joy that we officially introduce our daughter, Korana (CORE-ahna) Sky Harlow.


We are not naive to the sorrow that brought her to us, and we are especially mindful of our own sorrow that opened our hearts to receive her as our own. Our first-born daughter, Sadie Rose, would be 10 this year. She died less than twenty-four hours after she was born. Korana and her birth family have had their own sadness that is not ours to tell, but Korana has truly come “By Way of Sorrow.” (Song references and words used by permission of the writer, Julie Miller.)

The nights joy slept for us have finally awakened to days of laughter. The healing addition of two more rockstar biological children, a non-profit in our daughter’s memory, and this sweet babe complete our family. 

We are eternally grateful to all who supported us on this incredible journey of preparation to become foster parents, caring for us upon her arrival, and walking with us on the uncertain road of fostering through the social services system. Thank you for those who prayed for us as our own hearts were torn between genuinely believing for a fully restored birth family and the unimaginable reality that until now she wasn’t ours to keep.

Many times I fell to my knees, unable on my own to support, pray, and accept all the twists and turns of this journey. Many times I re-lived the hours after Sadie’s birth as life and loss hung in the balance. Many times I could hardly catch my breath as fear and hope tangoed in my heart. Many times I surrendered it all to God. Many times I took it back, scared to hold on, terrified to release.

Much more about this journey in my forthcoming book, “By Way of Sorrow – a story of life, death, adoption, and hope.”

With genuine compassion for all who are part of this story, her story, our story, we celebrate our “gotcha day,” April 24, 2017.

Below is a seven minute video summarizing the past eighteen months. The first accompaniment song is “By Way of Sorrow,” written by Julie Miller and recorded by the Wailin Jennys. The second song is “Happy Adoption Day,” written and performed by John McCutcheon.

 

 

10 thoughts on “Happy Adoption Day”

  1. Hello- excuse me. But I am an adoptee. And although you sound so happy she came to you by way of sorrow. That is kind of sad to me. Because you joy has meant her sorrow even now. Her parents are a mess and she’s with you. Why does adoption make it all better? And also, your statement about this little babe completes your family? Wow. IT amazes me how Adoption give us the right to leave parents messed up, as someone else just takes over and leaves them that way, and that is love? You love her so much, you just ended her relationship with her parents and left them a mess. Ok.

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    1. Hi, I appreciate your insight. You are so right that adoption doesn’t fix everything. I do mention her own sorrow and that of her family. My heart will always desire wholeness for everyone. I won’t share the bio family’s story, because it is not mine to share, but there were many chances and much support given to them so ultimately it was not us that ended the relationship with their biological child. Adoption isn’t perfect because it means something has definitely been broken, but hopefully we can be something positive in this sweet child’s story.

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      1. Just remember. She may not see adoption as the help we all want it to be. That’s here family. Messed up over there. You know? It’s so hard for me to see my own Mama like she is. And not being able to ask her the questions I have waited like a good girl to ask. I’m so upset about it. It’s really flared up at this time. And rather than stuff it, as many of Adopted do, I am pulling the curtain back and letting folks see. Just do this. Please make it safe for her to talk. Don’t judge her words. Let her express them. Cry if you must. Let her see your heart. Let her know. That you know what price she has paid for something that she can not fix and for what society has not figured out how to fix. Ok? Please. It warms my heart when folks put the kids feelings first. Meaning just hear her. She’s a person. I grew up kind of feeling like a poorly in a show. No ones fault. Just the 60’s. I am here for you any time. To help you navigate if you so desire. Good luck. God bless you for showing up for her. It’s a huge job!! Your unconditional love matters so much. Xo

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  3. What a beautiful tribute to your journey. The photos and music were perfect. We’re so very happy for all of you as you settle into a family of five! God bless you, Dear One.

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